quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
