let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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