So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
