Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
