Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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