Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We left an ass print on the piano.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
