Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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