The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
