It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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