I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
