i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
