She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
