Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
