how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize