Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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