And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
