I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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