help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
