oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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