Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
