I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
