oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
