I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
