2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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