Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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