I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
