Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
