Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
