And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
