I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
