The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
