shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
