Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
