Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's blow job season.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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