New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
