Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
