yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
