Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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