Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
