no, he came in my armpit
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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