Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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