Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
