yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
