I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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