I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
