I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize