halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
