Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
