Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize