Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
