I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
