We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
