And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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