the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize