who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
