Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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