You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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