I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize