dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
