You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
