my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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