And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
