oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
