Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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