My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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