Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
