She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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