I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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