Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
