New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
