Nicole vs. Life
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
