Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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