A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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