Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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