problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
