That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
