Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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