i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
