If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
