so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
