Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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