I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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