didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
