She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize