i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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