Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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